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Out of the Darkness, Into the Light

Last Updated on Saturday, 04 May 2013 18:36

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Understanding your experience is important to the healing process.

 

I lived in Darkness for almost eighteen years with Fear, Anger, Isolation, Loneliness, Embarrassment and Denial as my roommates, and they all F  A  I  L  E  D me.

Fear took away my voice when my abuser threatened to take my children; when police officers served me with a restraining order for defending myself; when mental health professionals labeled me “embittered and enraged” when I told them about the abuse.

Anger followed me everywhere I went, because the military justice system and the family court system felt I wasn’t victimized enough, so they sided with my abuser and kept my children and I within my abuser’s reach.

Isolation stared me down everyday because neither my family, so-called friends or my church completely understood what I went through, and somehow blamed me for being abused, saying it was “all my fault.”

Loneliness kept me company because it was much safer than the risk of getting into another abusive relationship.

Embarrassment forced me to keep everything bottled up, and kept me from getting the help I needed to move forward.

Denial talked to me constantly, telling me that as long as I was out of my horrible, abusive relationship, that I didn’t have any emotional or psychological scars.

Living in Darkness kept me surrounded with negative influences that F  A  I  L  E  D me over and over again and kept me from moving forward. When I made the decision to move into the Light, S  U  C  C  E  S  S moved in with me, and my life improved dramatically.

Strength held my hand on the days when I felt I couldn’t face life’s challenges.

Understanding showed me that there was something good to learn from my experience.

Compassion stood by my side when others shared their experience with me.

Contentment stayed to remind me that my life is good and I shouldn’t get upset over little things.

Empowerment held my other hand to help keep me balanced.

Self-Confidence gave me back my voice so I could share my experience with others.

Satisfaction helped me see that I am on the right path in my healing journey.

Written by Ivette Attaud