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My Life My Soul
The Unspoken Journey of Life After Domestic Abuse
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Email: healingmylifemysoul@yahoo.com

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Teen Dating Violence Prevention
When Does Caring Become Controlling?

1 in 4 teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed, put down or asked to send nude pictures by their partner through cell phones and texting.

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Please note that there is a correction to Spotlight on Recovery Magazine’s website.

http://spotlightonrecovery.com/default.aspx

It’s been a productive year with My Life My Soul Talk Radio with almost 9,000 listeners and counting!

Saturday, July 17 will be my last show of the season before I take a much needed break to re-group and recover!

Join me and special guest Robin Graham on Saturday, July 17 at 11 am EST!

Spotlight On RecoveryRobin is the founder and publisher of Spotlight on Recovery Magazine, an outreach and resource magazine geared towards individuals affected directly or indirectly by overwhelming issues.  She was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and raised four sons.

Spotlight on Recovery Magazine was inspired by events that affected her personal life and the lives of people she came into contact with.  Robin feels that Recovery is a part of everyone’s life.  At some point in your life, no matter who you are, you will have a recovery story.  Spotlight on Recovery magazine is the catalyst by which the human spirit can heal.

Robin also works for the NYC Department of Education.  She is a Parent Coordinator in an elementary school located in the East New York section of Brooklyn. She enjoys writing, classic films and being an advocate for her children.

I had the pleasure of writing an article for the June issue of Spotlight on Recovery entitled “Surviving the Loss of a Child.”  Below is an excerpt:

Everything happened so fast. That morning I was strangled to near unconsciousness by my abusive husband because I wouldn’t get an abortion, and that night I’m in the emergency room at Fort Bragg being admitted in pre-term labor. The doctors tried to stop the labor, but it was all in vain – the medication wasn’t working . . .

Please visit www.spotlightonrecovery.com to order copies or subscribe to this great resource!

You  can order copies and subscriptions on-line through pay pal or send a check or money order made payable to Robin Graham, and mail to 9602 Glenwood Road, #140, Brooklyn, NY 11236

Ms. Graham is now accepting articles for the following topics:

Scream – What makes you scream and if you were the President of the United States, what would you do?

The Competition – Are you in a competition to keep your job, your man, your woman?  Tell us your story and tell us if you decided to move on or continue to fight and why.

Single Parent vs Working Parent – If you could do it over, would you stay home or work?

HIV/AIDS
: Are We Still Afraid to Talk About It?

Join me with 3 very dynamic women, all survivors,  as we talk about issues surrounding domestic violence and abuse, healing and how they triumphed over adversity:

Jasmin is a victor not a survivor of cyclic domestic abuse.  When she was seven years old she was molested by a teenage boy in her neighborhood.  In fact years went by before she understood what happened and decades before she recognized the impact that it had on her life and relationships.  A witness to the beatings her mother endured by her father who she adored she swore she would not ever let any man beat her.

Hakimah Abdulmalik, wife, proud mother of Abdul-Quayyum and Khalid, founder of The Dawah Group, is Registered Nurse with a career spanning 47 years in New York Hospitals, Author, Speaker, Real Estate Investor and Philanthropist.Hakimah is currently penning her biography is which she tells how she emerged as the victor from generational domestic abuse. Often told by her father she would never amount to much in life she went on to become an African Attire Fashion Model and Premier Dancer for a Harlem dance troupe in the 60’s.

Oziemay Butler is  currently enrolled at Touro College, majoring in Business Management Administration. She serves as a Deaconess at Mt. Sinai. Cathedral in Brooklyn N.Y Oziemay is also an upcoming Author of her autobiography “To tell the truth and nothing but truth, so help me God”. She says this book would give the world a closer look at her life and how she overcame so much adversity.

Join the discussion!  Call in number is 646-716-5556 on My Life My Soul Talk Radio, this Saturday,  July 3rd from 11 am to 12!  Lend your comments and encouragement!  Forward to everyone you know!


Being a teenager is rough these days – a lot rougher than when I was a teen.  They face huge amounts of peer pressure, get mixed messages from various media outlets and are exposed to violence, in and out of the home, just to name a few.  They go through such a range of emotions that they may not always  be able to articulate their feelings.  That’s where we as adults come in.

So, how do we know when our teen is depressed?  How would you know if they’re contemplating suicide?  Or even using drugs?  More importantly, what are the warning signs of teen depression and drug use and how can we as adults get through to them in order to help them? 

This show is for moms, dads (Happy Father’s Day!), aunts, uncles, educators or anyone who is involved in the life of a teenager.

Join me on Saturday, June 19 at 11 am with special guest Carolyn Zahnow, mother and author of Save The Teens – Preventing Suicide, Depression and Addiction.  (www.save-the-teens.com)

Carolyn Zahnow has taken her experience of losing her son to suicide in 2005 into a learning opportunity for other parents, teachers, grandparents – anyone who knows and cares about teenagers – to learn the signs of teen depression and substance abuse.

 Her goal is teach parents these signs in an effort to get teens the help they need before anything tragic happens to more families. She offers ways to reconnect with your teens if you feel like they don’t talk to you anymore. If you’re waiting for them to “just grow out it” – you’ll be waiting until they are about 25 years old. It’s best to be alert for the signs of depression and provide help now if they need it. 

Join the discussion! 646-716-5556

I want to thank Kathryn Tull, Marriage and Family Therapist,  for joining me on the important topic of Coping with Psychological Triggers!

Living life as a survivor means dealing with the effects of the trauma which includes PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  It can come from so many sources because of how our bodies absorb our environment through the 5 senses – taste, sound, touch, smell and sight.

The first phase of PTSD involves incapacitating and overwhelming fear. They  feel like they have been thrust into a nightmare or a horror movie.  They are rendered helpless by their own terror. They keep re-living the experience through recurrent and intrusive visual and auditory hallucinations (“flashbacks”) or dreams.  In some flashbacks, a person can completely lapse into a dissociative state and physically re-enact the event while being thoroughly oblivious to where they are.

In an attempt to suppress this constant playback and the attendant exaggerated startle response (jumpiness), a person will try to avoid anything associated with the trauma, directly or indirectly.

Many develop full-scale phobias (agoraphobia, claustrophobia, fear of heights, aversion to specific animals, objects, modes of transportation, neighborhoods, buildings, occupations, weather, and so on).

People that suffer from PTSD are especially vulnerable on the anniversaries of their abuse. They try to avoid thoughts, feelings, conversations, activities, situations, or people who remind them of the traumatic occurrence (“triggers”).

This constant hypervigilance and arousal, sleep disorders (mainly insomnia), the irritability (“short fuse”), and the inability to concentrate and complete even relatively simple tasks erode a person’s s resilience. Utterly fatigued, a person can manifest protracted periods of numbness, automatism, and, in radical cases, near-catatonic posture.

Response times to verbal cues increase dramatically.   Awareness of the environment decreases, sometimes dangerously so. The victims are described by their nearest and dearest as “zombies”, “machines”, or “automata” or “autopilot”.

Take a look at the questions below.  Being honest with yourself to see if any of these apply to you is a way to begin understanding your personal triggers.

  1. I have strong physical sensations (e.g., sweating, rapid heart beat) when I think about the event.
  2. I try to avoid having upsetting thoughts or having contact with things or places associated with the event.
  3. My feelings are numb and I have difficulty experiencing normal pleasure and happiness.
  4. I am always watchful to make sure I don t experience the same event again.
  5. I have feelings of guilt associated with the traumatic event.
  6. I have the feeling of being unreal or that the world is unreal.
  7. I feel alienated or isolated from others.
  8. I get irritated or angry a lot.
  9. I have flashbacks of the event (feeling like the past event is happening all over again in the present).
  10. I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep because memories of the event come into my mind.
  11. I have memory difficulties and trouble concentrating these days.
  12. I am easily startled when I hear a loud noise or when danger seems imminent.
  13. I have been relying increasingly on alcohol or drugs to get through the day.

If you can answer “Yes” to these symptoms, please seek help from a mental health professional.  It doesn’t mean that you are “weak” or “crazy”.  It means that you are taking charge of your health and your life!

Kathryn is offering a free preview of her mini-book called The Ten Core Components for Your Success: An Introductory Guide for Transformational Change. Please visit  www.nextboldstep.com to subscribe (at no cost).   You will get the free report immediately; then she will communicate with you after you become a subscriber so you can get your free preview!

Until next week, God Bless!

Join me tomorrow and another special returning guest, Kathryn Tull, Marriage and Family Therapist, Saturday, June 12 as we continue the discussion about Life as a Survivor and Psychological Triggers!

Kathryn Tull was a guest on My Life My Soul Talk Radio in 2009 and I’m happy to have her back!  She is a Marriage Family Therapist and as well as a specialist in the field of relationship communication and family violence prevention in California.  Kathryn is also the author of “The Next Bold Step: Learning to Value Yourself.” (www.thenextboldstep.com)

 Call into the show!  646-716-5556!

My Life My Soul Talk Radio

On live Saturdays at 11 am EST! Call 646-716-5556 to share your comments! Listen to the show and let us know what you think!

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